Self-inflicted Pain
Perhaps the most difficult pain with which one may contend is not that
inflicted by another; it is that pain that is self-inflicted. The reasoning behind
this is quite simple: where there are two individuals involved, those elements
to be considered may include apology, forgiveness, and hopefully reconciliation.
However, in the case of self-inflicted pain, there is, of course, only one person
to consider. That being the case, the aforementioned elements, apology,
forgiveness, and reconciliation obviously do not, can not apply. Within the believer exist two opposites; the Old Man of the flesh, and the
New Man who is born of God. In Galatians 5:17 we are told, “For the flesh
lusteth against the spirit, and the spirit against the flesh:” There are no
provisions for any reconciliation between the two, nor should any believer even
remotely entertain any such possibility. Consider Romans 17:22-23, “For I delight in the law of God after the
inward man: but I see another law in my members, warring against the law of
my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my
members.” Again, Galatians 5:19-21 informs us of the works of the flesh, and
that being vomited forth from the Pride of Self-life. Among these are hatred,
wrath, strife, and envying. In the verses following, we are enlightened as to the
fruit of the spirit: “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
meekness, temperance: Understand then, that the thought of apology, or forgiveness, or
reconciliation between the flesh and the spirit borders on the ridiculous. The flesh and the spirit are almost as it were, imprisoned together in the
same cell; yet estranged, alienated; for which we are given further proof by yet
two other scriptures: John 2:6, “That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and
that which is born of the spirit is spirit.” Galatians 4:29 “But as then he that was
born after the flesh persecuted him that was born after the spirit, even so it is
now.” Now, two questions for you to consider: I will deal with them briefly here,
but leave them for you to contemplate in your own personal meditation. First, in what manner does one self-inflict pain? Secondly, if reconciliation
is impossible, then by what means are we to address this problem? The Believer is meant to operate from a spirit of humility: the fruit of
humility can be described from that which is familiar to all; love, joy, peace,
longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. As long as
he functions within this realm, he is a spiritual channel through which the
Personage of Christ may flow. Apart from this flowing, this giving forth, this
fruit-bearing unto God, one is operating in that spirit of Pride, of Selfishness:
anything and everything in this mode is a Self affliction. There is a paradox here
to be seen: when one enters that arena of self affliction it may be obvious for
all to observe; there may be jealousy, envy, strife, and even hatred. Although
there appears to be a belching forth of these and we might consider such an
one to be a channel of malice, yet what we see is an illusion. The only
channeling going on is inward. One may be a vessel flowing forth in love, in
blessing, but his effort to give hatred is futile; he is become as a “black hole,”
his self life is as a force field of gravity from which there is no escape; his ill
feelings fall back into himself, hence we have Self-Inflicted Pain. The second question; if reconciliation is impossible to be found, then what
solution is afforded us? There are no options; the only means to be found is one
which causes us great difficulty: dying to self, the mortifying of the flesh. And
yet, try as we will, it is an enemy who refuses to die. At that moment that we
think to have conquered him, to have him under control, he suddenly arises
from nowhere in great strength. Is it any wonder that the Apostle Paul cried
out, “who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” There is but one
answer, “I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Sin is a Self Inflicted Nail whereby one is held captive by his own will; He is made of himself a willing and obedient slave. The net into which one finds himself drawn, was cast forth of his own
hand. As the caterpillar, from within himself, forms a cocoon around himself; Even so does sin from within, form its own prison without. The shackles that bind are those forged in the foundry of Pride and
Selfishness.
